


On the subject of Life Debts

by Runwildwithme (NectarinesAndSourThings)



Series: Tales from the Else [9]
Category: Elsewhere University (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, a conversation, cookie children, fae-human friendships, from the Fae's perspective, fun with POV, silliness, the difficulties one encounters when attempting to describe the else to a mortal, well. half of one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 16:11:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15822390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NectarinesAndSourThings/pseuds/Runwildwithme
Summary: Life debts are a funny thing, anymore. The Fae - in general, and in this case in plural - are perhaps a bit perturbed by this. Also: the cookie children.





	On the subject of Life Debts

**Author's Note:**

> I adore this little bit of nonsense unashamedly. 
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy!!

The fae have always had a firm grasp on give and take, on fair trade, equivalent exchange. Maybe their definitions of fair and equal are different than ours, and maybe to our eyes what's given doesn't mean necessarily match what's taken, but ...well, put it down to culture clash and define your terms better when you bargain.

 

And you do bargain. Honestly, even if you aren't involved, the customs of those who are have seeped out to the rest of EU such that bargaining happens between completely mundane students for completely mundane things- company for coffee, ‘walk me to my car and I'll drive you to yours’,  tutoring for proofreading, tit for tat. Things that would just _happen_ without discussion anywhere else get laid out in explicit terms.

 

Coupled with the advice in the orientation packets, the whole culture around nicknames, and all the clever and silly superstitions that saturate the campus and her inhabitants, many completely oblivious students still walk away from the university with no small touch of nostalgia- even the most mundane experience at Elsewhere is a little bit magical.

 

So yeah. Everyone bargains, involved or not. Everyone learns -at least a little- the weight of words and actions, and how they balance against each other.

 

And, to a certain extent, the perceived worth of the little things is pretty even across species, given that the little things are often the easiest to trade. It's when you get into the big stuff, the abstract stuff, that you get some interesting bargains.

  


Life debts, though. _Life debts._

 

Humans nowadays don't really think of life debts the same as the fae do, or even the same as they used to, when they bother to think of them at all.

 

We have _infrastructure_ for that kind of thing now- firefighters and lifeguards and paramedics and doctors and nurses and police and babysitters who advertise their CPR certifications. In horse country, the firefighters have lists of barn managers that are allowed to drive trailers through soft evacuation zones to clear out the horses that get left behind.

 

Everyone knows the heimlich maneuver. In any given group of girls, there's at least one that always has painkillers or allergy pills or pads that she's willing and eager to share. Almost everyone knows at least the theory behind CPR, and most young people have had an actual class (between being in sports, scouts, or just -as mentioned above- wanting to make themselves more attractive for hiring as a babysitter).

 

If someone is in trouble, and someone _can_ help, a downright _shocking_ portion of the population _will_ help.

 

The fae know this. They _do._ But before Elsewhere, they were never really in enough close contact with humanity to really experience it day to day.

 

The selkies on campus have found themselves under the sudden and inexplicable protection of a group of girls with fire in their eyes and a stark and shocking willingness to straight up deck a frat boy. (Should he be spared -for whatever reason- by the selkies, the girls step in. They have doggedly followed more than one boy through his academic career, ever watchful, and no small number of those straight into a rape conviction.) (they don't know it, but tiny police department of the town closest to Elsewhere calls them their very own SVU.)

 

For every person ambivalent to the brownies, there's someone that has _strong fuckin feelings_ about their treatment. (This, at least, can be directly attributed to the Harry Potter series. This does not actually make the behavior more understandable to the fae.)

 

The sorority that is warned by the Banshee whenever one of their number is about to be taken has, without realizing it, become quite attached to her. It's a point of pride, something to brag about: _our_ sorority has a _Banshee._ We _always_ know before someone gets taken. _We_ get to say goodbye. _We_ get the chance to _prepare._

 

(There will come a day when the Banshee runs afoul of another fae, and the sorority will raise hell as soon as they realize.) (if they realize in time, they will march as one all the way Underhill and into a court, and when the lord of that court demands an answer for why they have come, they will look at each other and say, ‘We have come for our sister.’ and the lord will be so surprised he will let the Banshee go.)

 

(if they do not realize in time, they will march as one all the way Underhill and into a court, and when the lord of that court demands an answer for why they have come, they will look at each other and say, ‘We have come for our sister.’ and the lord will laugh and point to a pile of rags, a slumped over figure, and the girls will rage and cry and the force of their anger and their grief will warp the Else and the court will burn, but not before they bring their sister back home, buried in the garden in the dead of night, deep enough that she will never again rise)

 

So yes, the fae _know_ , but they don't _understand_. They know enough about humans to _accept_ that just spending time around them is frequently all it takes to engender fondness, and after enough boggling the fae affected by human acts of kindness attribute them to that tendency.

 

Sometimes, a human will see suffering, and for no other reason than that they will help.

 

The fae are ...used to it, now, and for a given value of the word. They recognize that sometimes humans just do things, without being tricked into it or needing payment. With smaller things, they might take and consider their ability to do so reason enough to do it- for things that incur life debts, though...  Suffice to say it make them uncomfortable.

 

And every couple years there comes along a student who _just doesn't get it._ Why _shouldn't_ they help? Someone needs help, they _can_ help, and so they do. _Just like that._

 

 

 

\--

  
A conversation:

\--

 

At EU...well, no, not at EU, but this place isn’t _not_ at EU, and further more to say ‘place’ is very much halfway innaccurate-

 

Yes, alright, rewind.

 

_At EU_ there is a ...ok so it’s really not a coffeehouse but that’s the stupid human word we’re gonna use, because it’s close enough and you poor barbaric lot don’t have the right concept and--

 

Oh. huh. Ok.

 

_As we were saying:_ At EU there is a seedy dive bar.

 

And while this seedy dive bar is not really a dive bar and not really at EU, it nonetheless exists, and it nonetheless exists quite close to where EU is, if we were to consider the existence of it to be bound by such things as human understanding of travel and time and distance.

 

As one can safely assume, it draws a specific sort of clientele.

 

...No, no there is no drowning of sorrows. why would you even want to do that. They’re already sad enou- no. No! No, we are _telling a comical personal anecdote._ This is a _we-talking time,_ not a you-talking tim- WE KNOW WE SAID TIME DOESN’T EXIST so help we _we will curse your lips to wax_ and then _melt them-_

 

_Ahem._ Yes, so, a certain type of clientele, and this clientele is frequently - one more quip about time-! - is frequently made up by those _poor unfortunate souls_ who have been laid low by the baffling actions of your wretched race.

 

....What did we just say about the we-talking thing. What did we _just-_ Oh, a song? Yes, of course, by all means, proceed.

 

...

...

...

 

Yes, alright, that was quite diverting. You shall tell we more of this small mermaid later.

 

BUT BACK TO WE’s THING.

 

The other not-night we were not-at the not-a-dive bar, having a pleasant conversation with one of the other patrons.

 

They were speaking of a most curious tale- said they had seen, at a revel this side of things, a brother dared to be as human as he could for the length of an evening, saw this brother accept. The darer would offer neither aid, nor advice, and if he could pass he’d be owed a boon.

 

Well, said the patron, this brother’s ‘as human as could be’ was a bit more than he’d thought, and so, as the night rolled on, drinks and dances and eats were had and enjoyed most heartily.

 

Towards the end, this brother came upon some trouble- a bit of the drink, gone to head, the application of the weight of the earth, a sharp corner of vengeful varnished wood- and well, to die is a very human thing indeed, so human he continued be.

 

And so this brother found himself in quite the tricky spot, not that he knew it, being at that point apparently unaware of all things in a most terminally mortal sort of way, and surely would have perished, save that we’s fellow patron maintains most fervently that a girl from the revel immediately set herself to the task of _helping._

 

She placed her hands up and down his neck, peeled up eyelids, which, we said, does not seem very much like helping, but we were hushed- and then set her lips to his and- and we swear we say this as it was said to we-

 

That girl set her lips to his and made his lungs _work_ by effort of her own, and set her hands to his chest and did beat his heart for him, and did breathe and ba-bump until the clock struck twelve and the brother’s glamour dispersed, and in the after asked for nothing, nothing at all.

  


We say to you: surely, surely we’s fellow saw wrongly, yes? The girl a breathing and a beating, and never a favor asked, all debt denied?

 

...

 

We are _engaging in the friendship thing,_ even your wretched sort knows you aren’t supposed to lie-

 

...

 

Truly. ...Really _really_ truly? We. Hrm. _Really?_

 

‘Preemehd’, you sa-, oh, two words? ...‘pre’ and - neither of those are words!! That is a prefix and a nonsense sound!! Why are you like this. Why.

 

_Before medical._ Now, see, _that_ is comprehensible, why was that so hard.

 

...Further, why does that factor? Your healers take their payments, we know, and furthermore the girl is not yet a healer, no? Yes, yes, we know, just guessing. What other possibilities?

 

A _scout?!_ Intrigue!! How terribly deceitful!! For who, do you think?

 

What do you mean not that kind of scout. Yes we _know_ a girl scout, we told you she was a she.

 

With capitals. Just to help.       

 

... _cookies?_

 

We... we are doing the friend thing, yes? Yes, good, ok, _listen_. Free advice, for reason of the friend thing, and because somehow you have been lucky and that should be rewarded.

 

_The cookie children are a trap._ The sweets and the smiles and the bright eyes and the chubby cheeks, oh, the chubby cheeks. Such sweet children... We know, we are always tempted, too.

 

_No_ , we have never eaten any of the cookie children. What did we just say!! They are a trap! A lure!!

 

So there. You have been warned. Do _not_ fall for it. Yes, we’re sure it’s a trap. How do we- _of course_ it’s a trap!! Have you _seen_ them?

 

No, no, we refuse. You speak cruel lies. We forgive you. We know you are wretched and cannot help it.

 

...what proof.

 

Pictures? Hrm. Well. Well, yes, we will look.

 

Give it here, then- STOP BATTING AT WE we _know_ not to touch the little lightning boxes. Yes, wretched thing, we _promise_.

 

**_YOU_** _WERE A COOKIE CHILD??_


End file.
